I’ve met lots of people who have experienced the feeling of becoming mentally frozen, not by the fear of failure, but the fear of success. Having to step up to the plate to follow it through when a big idea or plan looks like working can be a right old showstopper for some.
Sounds daft, doesn’t it? Who’d want to fail when the way ahead is clear and all you have to do is stay focused and work hard to guarantee the success you dreamed about? But it’s true. Many of us hold ourselves back from wholeheartedly following the path that will make an amazing difference to us, our lives, our incomes, our wellbeing – because we are afraid of the vulnerability that comes with personal striving and growth. So we find ourselves doing the “Warm Bath” activities, organizing our lives to avoid feeling vulnerable. Sure, your comfort zone keeps you safe – but it also keeps you small.
Here’s my Top Tips for dealing with fear of success:
- Always stop doing what you are doing and acknowledge Fear when it looms – ask “why are you here? What’s this all about?” Admit your anxiety to Fear, but also remind Fear of things you’ve done that were successful despite your apprehensions at the time. Ask yourself what the practical Fear is about – lack of knowledge? Meeting new people? Not knowing how to do some things? Taking a big risk? Once you’ve clearly identified the reasons, you can look at practical solutions.
- Surround yourself with positive-thinking, successful people who are supportive towards what you’re trying to do. Get on side with them, seek their advice and learn from them rather than envying them.
- Write down all the successful things you’ve done in your life (not what others would consider successful, but what you believe success meant for you)
- Spend some time every day doing some active learning on the things you’re going to need to know how to do to guarantee the success you want
- Take precaution with your health and well-being; being successful depends on looking after your body and feeding your mind and spirit
- Write down and keep reminding yourself of the payoff of achieving the success you want – describe the difference it will make to you and possibly your family, both practically and mentally
- Take 15 -30 minutes at the beginning of each day to write (pen and paper, not Word document) two pages about anything whatsoever that comes into your mind – if you don’t know what to write, start with “I don’t know what to write” – soon you’ll get bored with repeating that and you’ll start to write and think about more reflective things. Ideas and positive thoughts will emerge. Trust me – they will. I’m on three sides every day now.
- Look out for and test new ideas/do new things you have heard about – on your own or with others. Don’t worry if you get things wrong – the best people get things wrong and learn from their mistakes. Doesn’t stop them from being succesful.
- Make sure to laugh out loud every day. Find things that amuse you and just let go with a big belly laugh. Humour puts everything into perspective and keeps your system healthy.
- If you can afford it, get a coach to help you. Best thing I ever did, and I am a coach!
If you have a BIG THING that you want to achieve in your life, either business or personal and you just can’t seem to get started, Your Lamplighter is here to support you all the way.
Come and meet Your Lamplighter at the Mercure Hotel, Otley Road, Leeds on the 4th or 5th of March at the Wonderful World of Wellness Exhibition, where we will be running a competition for an hour’s free targeted coaching.